Some of the greatest revelations in life can be found by looking at things from a different perspective. If you are like me, life is so busy and hectic that there’s little time or energy to focus on anything but the immediate needs that surround us. There are needs to be met around us: bills to be paid, children to be fed, clothes to be washed, and work to be done. There’s always more things to be done than I have time for. But every occasionally, you may get a small reprieve from the chaos of everyday life. It may be a quiet moment in the morning before the kids awake, a time alone in a waiting room at the doctor’s office. Time away where your mind can settle down and focus on things from the different perspective. Not necessarily a new perspective, but something different that has always been there. The clarity of mind allows the mind to focus on hidden truths that one is unable to see in the busyness of normal everyday life. One example of this moment of clarity for me is a trip to Kansas with my two older sons to visit my aging grandparents.
I have always been very fond of my grandparents even though I have not spent as much time around them as I probably should have. My parents moved to Atlanta, GA when I was 6 years old so I would only visit with my grandparents on an annual basis. Going to college, getting married and raising my own children caused those visits to happen less frequently due to flight costs, work schedules and the logistics of getting a family of eight halfway across the country. But this December my grandparents graciously flew me and my two older boys out to visit during the kids Christmas break from school.
For me, Wichita, Kansas is a place that stands still with time. Yes, things change, but must slower than the suburban life of Atlanta, GA. And just like my memories of the city of Wichita, my grandparents mirror the illusion of standing still with time. I choose the word of an “illusion” carefully because I know that things have changed and are changing with my grandparents. They are not immune to aging and with aging comes an onslaught of physical, emotional and spiritual challenges. My mom and uncle deal with most of these challenges and I view things from a distance. But aside from these challenges the character of my grandparents stand still. Almost like a monument in the center of a city. The monument may wear and fade over time from the elements, but the stone and metal used to create that monument resist the destructive elements.
This trait of being consistent through time is one of the values I hope my boys could experience while visiting in Kansas. There are so many values my grandparents hold that are almost lost in society today. My grandparents believe in the family, in hard work, and saving for a rainy day. Many of their character traits are birthed through their own childhoods and upbringings. Growing up in the period of the Great Depression and World War II, creates character that no education or instruction can replicate today. These values I witnessed and experienced in my annual trips to Kansas growing up, and I want my children to witness them as well.
But due to my grandparents age and because their activity level has decreased significantly, I’m not sure they were able to experience my grandparents as I remember experiencing them as a child. They were not able to watch my grandfather restore cars and repair things around the house. I remember times he and my uncle would spend countless hours in the garage restoring a Ford Model T or late 60s Mustangs. I remember the distinct smell of their garage at night, heated by a small natural gas heater that illuminated the area with a blue flame. His tools were innumerable and my grandfather was an expert and every single tool he owned. I remember him just glancing at a nut, and visually being able to determine the wrench size needed to tighten it. He would ask my to fetch a 3/8” wrench from the garage, but I was skeptical he could visually determine the size. When I would return with a 3/8” wrench, it would fit the nut perfectly. But this trip was not about repairing, restoring or building. My boys did not get to experience my grandfather doing these things. My grandfather doesn’t have the stamina for the garage, the cold weather or the balance to climb ladders for other repairs needed.
My boys did get to experience a couple of unique things this trip. First was snow. Yes, it does snow in Atlanta, but not often. So, on our second day of Kansas seeing snow fall, throwing snow balls, and on the last day building a snow man will be a memory my boys will keep for a long time. But the more unique thing my boys would experience is my mom, uncle and myself taking care of my grandparents. My boys helped to shovel snow off the walkways outside so my grandparents could check the mail and get the daily newspaper that is delivered to their house. We changed the battery on the truck that had died due to the cold weather. This time was different though, it took me about three trips to the garage to get the right socket size. We cleaned dishes and helped where asked. To be honest, my mom did most of the work with all the medical stuff. But these are the things my boys experienced on our recent trip.
So, on the flight home from Kansas I see new perspective that I have always known, but today have been reminded of, I will never be able to have my children relive the childhood experiences that I experienced myself. The deeper lesson might even be this, I must be the father God has called me to be to nurture and grow my boys. My grandfather was a great man, and because of that I learned from him what it means to be a good father and husband. The torch is passed down generationally I now I am called to uphold those same values and traditions in my own life and lead my family to do the same.
As with my posts in the past, I always like to end with a question. What childhood memories do you have that you would like to pass down to your children. What values and character traits is God calling you to live out in your own life?
A Blog of Hope 